Date: 2025-08-10
Subject: BOTTLE CAPS - LOST AND FOUND - INVENTORY INVESTIGATION
Originator: [REDACTED]
This report investigates a jar of bottle caps in the lost and found of Building [REDACTED]. The caps are not worth anything. They are being saved. No one knows why. The jar is labelled "Nuka-Cola." The label is from a drink that does not exist. The jar has been in the lost and found for 14 years.
The Jar. The container is a 32-ounce glass jar with a metal lid. It contains approximately 200 bottle caps. The caps are from various soda brands, most of which are still in production. The jar is labelled "Nuka-Cola - Property of [REDACTED]." Nuka-Cola is not a real beverage. No employee has ever claimed the jar.
The Label. The label on the jar appears to be professionally printed. It features a stylized logo of a soda bottle with a nuclear symbol. The text reads "Nuka-Cola - Taste of Tomorrow." The label shows no signs of aging. It is in perfect condition. The jar has been in the lost and found since 2011. The label looks new.
Employee Interest. Multiple employees have expressed interest in the jar over the years. They ask about it. They look at it. They do not claim it. The jar has become a topic of office speculation. A 2019 survey asked employees what they thought the jar was for. Responses included: "collection," "currency," "joke," and "don't touch it."
Hypothesis A - Novelty Item. The jar is a novelty item brought in by an employee as a joke. The employee left the agency. The jar remained. It was placed in the lost and found because no one knew what else to do with it. The label was printed by the employee. Nuka-Cola is a fictional brand. The jar is a relic of someone's sense of humor.
Hypothesis B - Future Currency. The bottle caps are being saved in anticipation of a future event. The jar is not a joke. It is preparation. The caps will become valuable after a societal collapse or economic restructuring. The jar contains the seeds of a future economy. The label is a brand for that future.
Hypothesis C - The Caps Are a Message. The jar is not about the caps. It is about the label. Nuka-Cola is a fictional brand from a pre-war world that no longer exists. The jar is a message from someone who remembers a world that was lost. The bottle caps are evidence that the past was real. The jar is a memorial.
The jar of bottle caps remains in the lost and found. It is labelled Nuka-Cola. Nuka-Cola does not exist. The committee recommends leaving the jar where it is. The caps are not valuable. The label is not real. The jar is not lost. It is exactly where it needs to be.
- LOST AND FOUND LOG - JAR ENTRY - 2011
- EMPLOYEE SURVEY - JAR SPECULATION - 2019
- LABEL ANALYSIS - PRINT QUALITY - PROFESSIONAL PRODUCTION
- BEVERAGE DATABASE - NUKA-COLA - NO MATCHING PRODUCT