Date: 2025-02-01
Subject: THE ALIEN WHO APPLIED FOR A BUILDING PERMIT
Originator: [REDACTED]
This report investigates a building permit application submitted in 1995 by an applicant named "Zarg of Antares." The permit was approved. The building was never constructed. The permit has been renewed annually for 30 years. The applicant lists an address in the Andromeda Galaxy.
Application Details. The permit is for a single-story structure of 2,000 square feet described as "reception facility." The materials list includes materials not recognised by building code. The structural calculations use a gravitational constant that does not match Earth's. The permit was approved without revision.
Annual Renewal. The permit has been renewed every year since 1995. The renewal fee is paid in cash. The payment is delivered by mail. The return address is "General Delivery, [REDACTED], [REDACTED]." The fee has never been late. The permit holder has perfect compliance.
Communication Attempts. Letters sent to the applicant have not been returned. They have also not been answered. The permit holder is in full compliance with all local regulations. They simply have not built anything. They continue to have a valid permit to build.
Hypothesis A - Extraterrestrial Good Faith. Zarg of Antares genuinely intends to build a reception facility on Earth. They have encountered delays. They are maintaining their permit in good faith. They will build when the time is right. They are an exemplary permit holder.
Hypothesis B - Human Deception. The applicant is human. "Zarg of Antares" is a pseudonym used to submit a joke application. The joke has been running for 30 years. The city has never noticed because the paperwork was processed correctly.
Hypothesis C - The Permit Is the Building. The permit itself is the structure. It is a legal construct that occupies a space in the regulatory dimension. The building exists in a non-physical sense. The annual renewal maintains the structural integrity of this metaphysical edifice.
The permit is classified as a Class-III Extraterrestrial Application. It remains valid. The committee recommends maintaining the permit. If Zarg of Antares ever arrives to build their reception facility, we want them to have proper documentation. First contact should be properly zoned.
- BUILDING PERMIT APPLICATION - 1995 - ZARG OF ANTARES
- RENEWAL RECORDS - 30 CONSECUTIVE ANNUAL RENEWALS
- STRUCTURAL CALCULATIONS - NON-TERRESTRIAL GRAVITY CONSTANT
- ZONING BOARD NOTE - "WE ASSUME THIS IS FINE"