Not long ago I was diagnosed with depression. After talking with some professionals about this depression I realized that I’ve been depressed since I was kid. It never occurred to me that I was depressed, because feeling blue was normal for me. There have been some pretty dark times, but at the end of the day I’ve never tried to hurt myself or even thought about hurting myself as a result of this depression, but there has always been this black cloud hanging over me. So now I’m wondering, why was I depressed in the first place? Where did this dark cloud which I’ve lived in for so long come from? Depression doesn’t run in my family and I had a good childhood. Maybe I was born with a mental problem, I really can’t rule that out, but could there be another reason?
Major events, trauma and abuse (physical, sexual and emotional) can all be a cause of depression. I want to be clear about the mentioning of “abuse”. When I was a child I was punished with spankings, sometimes with a belt, but looking back I realize the spankings were used to prove a point and caused very little pain or discomfort. I can honestly tell you I WAS NOT abused by my parents or any other family member, as a child. I do however, believe there were some major, traumatic events in my life, perpetrated by a specific group, which included at least two of the above mentioned abuses.
Trauma can also lead to another rather embarrassing condition called “Nocturnal Enuresis”, otherwise known as bed wetting. My brother and I both suffered from this condition as children. It was so bad that my parents sought medical treatment for us. Nothing worked. I’m not sure how long my brother had this problem, but it stayed with me for years. Nobody ever did explain why my brother and I suffered from this condition.
What I’m going to reveal to you is true and real, to the best of my knowledge. I believe the events that I reference are directly related to my depression and the bed wetting that my brother and I both suffered from as children. While I understand there could be other medical causes of my conditions, I think what I’m about to lay out for you has to be taken into consideration, strange as it may seem to some. These events outlined below began when I was three or maybe four, years old. I am now 51.
The year was 1971 or ‘72. My family was renting one side of a duplex, on a bluff overlooking the Mississippi River. I was sitting on my mother’s lap while she was visiting one of the neighbours. I remember her telling the neighbor about a dream I’d had which had really frightened me. I had this dream several nights in a row, and I still remember the dream to this day. It was always the same. I remember seeing a face with black eyes. The face was pretty plain, with not much character. I remember telling my mom that it looked like a pancake with black eyes. I always saw this face through a haze, like I was looking through something in order to see it. It reminded me of looking through water or perhaps glass.
It wasn’t till years later that I came to believe that I had been seeing the face of a Grey alien. I described the face as a pancake. Grey’s to the best of my knowledge aren’t pancake colored and pancakes aren’t gray, at least not the ones I eat. I’m open to the possibility that I had a weird dream about a pancake with eyes, but I’m not sure I’d be as frightened as I was of a pancake, even at three years old. This fear concerned my mother enough to seek advice from the neighbours.
We lived in that house until 1976. I had a couple other odd experiences around this same time, which may or may not be related to the “dream” of the black eyed face. I had a dream one night that I was down by the bridge which crosses the Mississippi into Illinois. I was floating straight up and I couldn’t stop. I was close to the bridge because I remember reaching out to try and grab it so that I would stop my ascent. I don’t remember anything else about that dream, aside from it seemed very real.
During the Christmas season when I was four or five, and still in that same house, I had an odd experience with an entity of some kind. It was Christmas Eve, and everyone in the house was asleep, except me. I don’t remember if I had been awake, anxious for Santa to come, or was awakened by something, but I decided to go downstairs and see if Santa had visited us yet. It was still dark, and I’m guessing it was well after midnight, probably between two and four in the morning. I walked into the living room, where our Christmas tree was, and I noticed a figure sitting in my father’s chair. It wasn’t my dad, or anybody else I knew, and at this point I’m convinced it was not a human. It was a completely black figure. I didn’t see eyes or a mouth, and I can’t remember if it had a nose and ears. I probably should have been scared, but I wasn’t. I don’t remember interacting with it, but at one point this thing picked me up and showed me what was on top of our piano, which I was too short to see. My mother had left some unwrapped presents on top of the piano. They were clothes for the G.I. Joe figures we’d later find under the tree. I’m not sure how long I was with this black figure, but I eventually woke up in bed. My brother and I went downstairs and soon found out that the unwrapped presents were exactly as I had been shown by this mysterious figure.
Both the black figure and the floating dream may have been just that, dreams. But as I got older and had other experiences I began to think these instances were possibly more than just dreams.
We moved to a new house, one my family was actually buying, in the summer of 1976. This house was located a couple of miles outside of town, in the country. This area has been developed since then, and is more of a suburb now. I lived in this house until my early 20’s, and I had quite a few odd experiences happen here. The first was when I was approximately eleven years old.
It was sometime in November, I don’t remember if it was early, middle or late November. I’m also not sure on the time, but it was between seven and nine at night. I was inside watching television and a show came on that was a favorite of mine and my brothers. My brother was outside with a friend, looking for the northern lights, which occasionally can be seen in this part of Iowa. I stepped out onto the front porch to let my brother know about the show. When he saw me he immediately pointed up, in a northerly direction and said “Look!”
I’ll never forget what I saw, but unfortunately my brother has no memory of this, which I’ve always found odd. In the sky there were two large, glowing orange ovals. One was moving east to west and the other was above the first, and moving at an angle towards the first, also from the east. Once the second UFO came near the first, they travelled parallel to each other, still moving west. After maybe five or six seconds they separated and both moved away up into the sky at an angle. Then they were gone. This event didn’t scare me, I didn’t know what to think. Strange as it may sound, I don’t remember talking much about this incident after it happened. My brother doesn’t remember it and I’m not sure about his friend, who also saw these objects. The friend has been in and out of prison with drug abuse issues, and I have no idea where he is today.
Around this same time, maybe up to a few months after the UFO sightings, my brother and I had an electrical event in our bedroom. We shared a bed and had bunk beds. On this particular night I was in the top bunk. I’m not sure of the time, but everyone in the house was in bed and it was still dark out. All of a sudden my brother’s stereo turned on. It lit up and out of the speakers came “woop woop woop” This “wooping” started out fairly quiet, but continued to get louder. I don’t know how it didn’t wake the whole house up it got so loud. It scared me, and I’m sure it did my brother too. He jumped out of bed and went to the stereo. He tried to turn the stereo off, but it was already off. He turned the switch on and off several times but the “woop woop woop” continued. He then unplugged the stereo, and the “wooping” continued for another five or six seconds before it began to die down. It eventually faded away. I have no idea what this was. Looking back I wish I’d have looked out the window. I think I would have seen another UFO. My brother does remember this event.
Fast forward about eight or nine years. I’m not sure why there is this gap in my experiences, but my guess is that I just don’t remember. I was in my late teens, still living in the house where I witnessed the orange UFO’s, when the nightmares started. The nightmares were always very similar in nature and they always took place at this house. I didn’t have these dreams every night. I’d say there were gaps that ranged from a week to several months.
These nightmares always begin with me becoming “aware”. I’d find myself standing in the living room or basement of our house. Sometimes I’d be out in our yard. It was always dark, though sometimes the sky would be in the early stages of dawn, where the black is turning blue. It only took a few seconds of being “aware” before the fear hit me and I would run like my life depended on it. Moments later a UFO would appear near me, as if it was letting me know it was there. It would pass over me and as soon as it did so, I would wake up, scared to death.
I want to take a moment and address the fear I felt. I don’t even know how to describe it. I have never, in my normal state of being awake and living life, ever felt anything even close to the level of fear that these nightmares gave me. There was no escaping it. When it hit me I knew “they” were here, and “they” scared me beyond belief. I never woke up from these nightmares because they were over. The fear is what woke me every time. I’d jolt awake, sprint out of bed, and flip my lights on. Often I’d leave the lights on the rest of the night, and it was always a struggle to get myself back to sleep. I even went through a phase where I was scared to go bed. This lasted for several months. I started sleeping with a Bible (I laugh at that now), believing it may offer some protection, it didn’t.
I eventually moved out on my own, but that didn’t stop these nightmares. My depression was at a height during the years I was having these nightmares, and I began drinking a lot. I eventually got married and started a family. I continued to have these nightmares off and on, and I even saw another UFO.
I’d leave for work around five in the morning, and I would always look up into the sky. Never saw anything except for this one time. This UFO was bright white, like a star. It was moving east to west and was maybe a mile away. I only saw it for about ten seconds before it changed course upward, towards space, and faded away.
This next experience is beyond strange as far as I’m concerned. My wife and I were in bed asleep. I woke up for some reason and rolled over. Here’s where it gets weird. I saw with my own two eyes, a triangular object that was black, around eight inches thick, flat on the top and bottom and had multi colored lights on each of the sides I could see. I witnessed this thing float into my room from the hallway, and stop about three feet from my bed. Surprisingly I wasn’t scared, but I was confused. I stared at it for a few seconds and then I got the feeling that it noticed me looking at it. It then slowly began backing out of my bedroom. I remember telling myself that I was dreaming. I watched it until it rounded the hallway corner, and then I laid back down and went back to sleep. I’m 100% sure I was awake when I saw this. Based on the other events in my life I tend to believe I actually saw what I saw.
It was around this same time that had my last UFO nightmare. The year was 1994. I was still living with my wife and two kids in the same house where I saw the triangular object. This nightmare started out just like all the others, I became “aware”. This time however I wasn’t at my house, or anywhere else that I recognized. I was standing waist deep in a mist of some kind. The surrounding area was a dark grayness, darker than the mist which I was standing in. I was scared, but the horrific fear was not present as it had been in all the other nightmares. I began to walk. I couldn’t tell directions due to the grayness and mist, and I’m not sure how far I walked, but it wasn’t far. I came upon a gray wall, which had a circular window in it. I had no idea I was even inside until I came upon this window. I looked through the window and that’s when the horrific fear hit me. On the other side of this window was a Grey Alien looking right at me, and holding a baby for me to see. I screamed and woke up, in my bed.
Here’s another interesting aspect of this nightmare. Literally the day after I had this nightmare my wife told me she was pregnant with our third child. The child which the Grey had shown me appeared to be a newborn, so I know my wife wasn’t pregnant with that child. This had my mind spinning though. By the time I’d had this nightmare I had begun looking into the whole UFO/Alien Abduction phenomenon. , and I was pretty sure I was an abductee.
It’s now 2019. I haven’t had one of these UFO nightmares since 1994. I have seen a couple more UFO’s over the years, but I wasn’t frightened by them. My third child was born healthy later in 1994 and I jokingly refer to her as my alien child. She’s not as amused by that as I am. I still suffer from depression, but I have it under control for the most part. I really do think that my childhood depression was brought on by my experiences as an abductee, and I’ve never been able to completely shake clean of it. Can I prove that aliens caused my depression? No. But I guess it’s just as good as the next explanation. I’d rather it be caused by something than to know I was born flawed. One more thing, I don’t wet the bed anymore either.
My name is Jason, and I live in Iowa.